brokeforgood | sundays

Farrah hates Sundays.

Sunday means the weekends over, and Rina has to go back to Japan to get ready for school, or Farrah has to leave so Rina can go to school. Sunday means she’s not going to get to see her girlfriend for a whole week, or even two, depending on Rina’s schedule. Farrah likes to say she’s independent, that she’s fine on her own, and that she doesn’t need anyone but herself— but her family knows better. Farrah went a long time feeling misunderstood, lonely, and unloved. Now that she’d gotten a taste of what it was like to be loved, valued, and nurtured, she clung desperately to her loved ones. But Rina has a whole life outside of Farrah, with friends and family and school idols, back in Japan. And Farrah has her own, new found family to make up for lost time with. There’s music to learn, and adventures to go on, and cheers to be done. She knows there’s a meaning to the distance in their relationship—- but none of that keeps her from hating Sundays any less. None of that gets her off the couch after Rina’s gone, where she lays for hours sulking, wearing one of Rina’s hoodies.

Sure, she has her family to keep her busy. Farrah has four different dads, in multiple universes, and she has Annleigh, and even Varian, who commiserates with Farrah on the loss of Rina at the end of the weekends. It’s not like Farrah’s ever alone.

But there’s something about the way it feels to be with Rina, that she can’t shake, that has her miserable on Sunday evenings, and bouncing off the walls with excitement on Fridays. Rina’s gentle, soothing voice— the way she says things that surprise Farrah and make her roar with laughter. The way Rina always knows just when to hold her hand, when Farrah’s starting to feel sad, or scared. The way she talks about her friends and their idol work, with such seriousness and pride, that you’d think she was discussing something life or death. All of those things about Rina fill Farrah’s heart with a giddy, bursting kind of excitement and joy, and when she’s gone, Farrah feels the absence so potently that she feels like she’ll never be happy again.

But then the next visit happens, and she feels it again, that giddy feeling, like her hearts doing cartwheels. And when she hears Rina’s stories about her time at school, or her latest idol escapades, or what she and Varian did on their own last—- Farrah knows it’s worth it. When Rina gets that look on her face—- mistaken as distance by some, but what Farrah knows is pride—- when Farrah fills her in on her latest adventure or shows her a new cheer routine, Farrah knows it’s worth it. Sundays may suck. But seeing the girl you love, and knowing she’s chasing her dreams and living her best life? That’s a whole different kind of heart swelling feeling.

Farrah just can’t wait for the day when their dreams align again, when they can finally be together all of the time. Until then? She’ll keep hating Sundays.